On this months column I would like to address the issue of being a gay pagan parent in today’s society. I don’t consider myself any different than any other parent and I don’t see my children acting or behaving any different than any other children but from societies viewpoint I guess you could say we were different. But, shouldn’t we all be different? We are living in a society that is slow to evolve and although there is a little progress its still straight laced and politically correct. People like me live on the outskirts of this society but in it we must be. I am a good parent or at least I try to be. I know my children have more liberties than most children because I choose to have faith in their judgments and I respect each one of them for you they are. I am openly a lesbian and I am pagan so yes, I am most definitely different than the parents of my kids friends. But this does not make us any better or any worse than anyone else just different. As my daughter was growing up, I knew she was different from other girls but it wasn’t a big deal to me. When she was 12 years old she confided in me that she was gay. I imagine she thought I was going to throw her out of my life so she was scared but I would have never thrown my child out no matter what or who they are or become because that is what the Goddess bestowed them with. After that my home became a haven for unwanted gay girls that mothers did throw away. So I became mom to several of them who have since grown up and moved away but have never forgot that I am always here for them. My boys, ages 16 and 11 grew up with my daughters gay friends and then with mine when I came out 5 years ago. To them it is normal because they have no bad memories or people telling them that it is a bad thing to be around gay and lesbians. And if someone does tell them something bad they are level headed and will tell that person to bug off. Being gay is not contagious as some folks think it is. My boys know that and they are confident enough in their own sexuality to know that being around gays will not make you gay. My boys respect the gay lifestyle and they respect our lifestyle, they know that they have two moms and that my partners children are their siblings and that my daughters partner is their sister-in-law and that their daughter is their niece. We are all very spiritual and being pagan is very important to all of them. We all respect each other beliefs because we all have different paths that we are walking on. My 16 year old is on a Shamanic path and loves feather magick. All my children are close to their American Indian roots and take their spirituality serious. They are still young and will grow into their right path in time. Being a gay pagan parent is sometime hard because I have found that pagan children have a more caring sense about them than other children. They respect nature and they respect the feelings of fellow humans. I sometimes wonder if my children get ridiculed because I am gay and I have piercing and tattoos and because I wear a pentagram. And I sometimes ask them if they are embarrassed about me or for me and if they are would they want me to change my way of being. And lo and behold, they always say that they would not like life any other way because what other kids parents get compliments everyday about their earrings or their tattoos and what other kids parent is as “cool” as you are. So they usually boost my ego a couple of notches in the process. I know that society as a whole does not accept this lifestyle but this is what makes it interesting. Diversity is a good thing. And being proud of who you are gives you the power to overcome all obstacles. No I am not your ordinary parent, but then again who ever said I wanted to be.

I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided

 in my mother that I am a lesbian.

I am the prostitute working the streets because 

nobody will hire a transsexual woman.

I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight 

through the painful, tear-filled nights.

We are the parents who buried our daughter long 

before her time.

I am the man who died alone in the hospital because 

they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into

 the room.

I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares 

of being taken away from the two fathers who are the 

only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.

I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that

 left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will 

probably be able to walk again.

I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before
graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.

We are the couple who had the realtor hang up 

on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom

for two men.

I am the person who never knows which bathroom 

I should use if I want to avoid getting the management 

called on me.

I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit 

the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says

 I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.

I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support

 system grow suddenly cold and distant when they
found out my abusive partner is also a woman.

I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support

 system to turn to because I am male.

I am the father who has never hugged his son because I 

grew up afraid to show affection to other men.

I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to 

teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.

I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me

as soon as they realized I was transsexual.

I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much
better person if I didn’t have to always deal with society hating me.

I am the man who stopped attending church, not because

 I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.

I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.